Body Confidence

At the moment I am, probably for the first time, happy with the way I look. Despite being the heaviest I've ever been and the fact that my face has started to betray my age.

I know I have flaws (various wobbly bits, not the best skin...and yes, I will always be on the short side), but I accept them. I'm fine with it. I know I'm not the prettiest, but I'm not the ugliest either =P And finally I am able to wear short shorts and not worry about my thighs, and I can even wear tops which show my stomach. Finally, I am free to wear what I want, and feel fabulous doing it!

I do want to find exercises I enjoy, but that's just to improve my fitness. I don't really want to change my body at all anymore.


The only thing I don't like about my body?

Other people's reactions to it.

Now, it's not that I care what they think. I just feel a little uncomfortable when I'm walking down the street on a hot day wearing shorts, and practically every bloke I walk past stares at my legs. And then there are the comments some of them make. I am a human being, stop trying to objectify me =/ And I'm trying to keep cool on a hot day, I do NOT want the attention of sleazy douchebags!

And then the occasional woman will glare at me enviously too, like how dare someone have thinner legs than me! How dare someone be okay with their body! Or a group of girls will talk behind their hands, saying goodness knows what.

If people minded their own damned business, maybe they'd be a little happier with themselves as well! Don't bring me down too Dx Go away!

I guess it isn't something that's ever going to change, but it's just really annoying *sigh*

Tickets

So I am rudely awoken this morning while trying to have a lie-in by the postman, who came bearing...



my Reading ticket!

Shit just got real...and I'm hoping it doesn't matter than the surname on the ticket is 'Wilson' lol. Agh I have no idea what to do. I was supposed to have moved out again by now but I've heard nothing at all and don't have any contact details for my landlord, so looks like I'll have to tell my mum I'm going and she will flip. Especially since I'll be going on my own, if I actually go.

At first I was going to go alone, but I had no offers for camping buddies so I invited Rob. He kept saying he was up for it but wouldn't let me buy tickets and didn't seem overly interested. Turned down several camp buddy offers as I thought I wouldn't need them. Tickets sold out. Rob hasn't mentioned it since. So I bought my ticket and tried chasing up those people, but now I can't find anyone to camp with again. I have the worst luck ever =/ So I just cleared out my bank account buying a ticket and need to find someone to camp with in the next few days or I'll have to hastily sell my ticket.

Pretty terrified too. I'm the kind of person who freaks out in crowds D= also the thought of not washing for 5 days is gross. I think there are showers but I don't know a thing about them. And then there's the fact that my old phone that I was going to take seems to have been sneakily thrown out by my mum, not that she'll admit it. And I'm worried about losing my cards, but I need to take my provisional to prove I'm over 18 and I'll probably need my bank card too, but it's £15 for a tiny locker so I'll have to risk leaving it in my tent.

Hoping this'll all work out, because I do want to go. I'm just dreading it right now. What if I have to go alone? What if I get in danger? I have no way of defending myself. What if all the people there are as douchey as they seem on the forums? And then little things like what happens if I have killer headaches everyday?